Rush Limbaugh said today that he will leave the country if the health care reform bill passes. He said he'd go to Costa Rica, but if he's principled, he'll have to go somewhere else: Costa Rica has universal health coverage. Rush could have some real problems finding a place to live in the style to … Continue reading Limbaugh could be between a rock and a place with universal health care.
Democrats in the House of Representatives have proposed a bill that would legislatively create a twenty-year period of “Post-Birth Fetal Development,” during which abortion would be completely illegal. Rep. Roberta Goldwaithe, the bill’s primary sponsor, thinks this is an idea whose time has come. “Neurologists have established that the human brain isn’t completely developed through … Continue reading Proposed Post-Birth Abortion Ban Could Shut Down Iraq War
A highly placed government software developer revealed today that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is actually a sophisticated hologram. The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, joined the Gonzales project when the Attorney General was still in beta. Her team of programmers, many of whom had prior experience at various Hollywood special effects studios, are … Continue reading AG Gonzales Outed as Hologram
Dick Cheney’s jet, Air Force 2, was attacked by a suicide bomber, specifically a bird that threw itself into the right engine just before the jet's landing at O’Hare airstrip. No particular group of birds has claimed responsibility for the attack, though analysts believe the VP’s favorite prey -- farm-raised quail -- were involved. Cheney, unharmed but … Continue reading The Swiftian news
The title of this blog, The Free Lance” is the name H.L. Menken used for a column of his; my son Samuel is named for Sam Clemens; and, I saw Spalding Gray four times in the six years before he died. These are my bona fides for writing about the loss I feel on the … Continue reading So long, Mr. Vonnegut
Naomi Campbell, known for her terrible temper, recently spent one day of anger management following her conviction for throwing a phone at her housekeeper. She has recently been asked by Jamaica to be their national "patron for abused women." What possible meaning of the phrase "patron for" applies here?